12 hours + 16 hours = A LOT of travel time!

Current location: Hanoi, Vietnam. Location for the past few days: In the boondocks of Laos and Vietnam. Oh, what a journey it has been. Let me start from where I left off.
So last week I took a mini bus to Nong Khiaw. Yep, I put down the extra two bucks for the mini bus over the local bus. Yeah yeah... I heard it all before about getting the "real" local experience. The mini bus is just tourists, where as on the local bus... well there you get to travel like a local. From what I got to experience first hand of the local buses a few days after that journey, it was money well spent.

Nong Khiaw is gorgeous! See:

It is a beautiful, not so touristy town. It is set on a river between stunning mountains. There is not much to do in Nong Khiaw except just sit back and enjoy the beauty in your bungalow by the river. You can also make the excursion out of your hammock into town to buy grilled banana's (that just happen to be one of my favorite foods in Laos, so I got to know the banana lady pretty well). Also, because it is such a tiny place, by the end of the evening you pretty much know every tourist in town and their story.

In case you need a refresher on your Laos geography here is a map with Nong Khiaw marked:

So the plan was to somehow get to the Lao / Vietnam boarder in Na Meo and from their make my way to Hanoi. Looking at a map, it looks like that could be a breeze. But, as well all know - looks can be deceiving.

After speaking with a few locals in town, and the self pronounced tourist info man, I found out that I would have to take a bus to Xam Nua. OK, we are still doing good at this point. The bus to Xam Nua passes through town every night (another plus), but can come anytime between 7:30pm and midnight (ah the first negative). The Bus takes 12 hours about (definite negative - but ok: i am still 2 for 2). As I sit down to have dinner a nice leisure dinner at 5:30, the very kind owner of the guesthouse jumps up and pulls the meal away from me and tells me the bus is here. Darn.. the first bite I had of the meal was quite tasty too. I turn around to see an old soviet style truck, converted to a bus, and JAMMED packed with people and other goods (rice piled higher then the seats in the aisle). The people on the bus where quite kind and made a spot for me to sit down. As I have tried to block out the 12 hours after that moment, I can't give you exact details, but I am pretty sure that the inability to move my legs caused some blood circulation to stop in my lower extremities for some period of time. I can also say that those seemingly idyllic mountains are not what you want to be on at 4 am on a tiny road with potholes the size of, well, the entire road. Yeah - driving down steep steep mountains when the road is washed out ain't that nice.

But no worries, by 5:30am the next day, when we got to Xam Nua, I was still able to walk off that bus! Yay! I would say that I could not have been happier, except that it was cold and rainy in Xam Nua. I can always be happier at those times. Just give me some sun! One would think that maybe getting some rest after such a great journey would be wise. I would have entertained that thought, except I ran into a Belgium couple in the local market. They were just about to leave to do one of the only 2 things to do in Xam Nua - go to the neighboring city of Vieng Xai. in Vieng Xai you can find the old tunnels that the Lao Communist revolutionaries hid in during the Vietnam war. Side note: Laos got the smithereens blown out of them during the war. That's what I learned on my tour :). Well, god bless those Belgians - they can travel in style! They had rented a mini van and a driver to take them around the country, and so kindly offered to give me a ride! Good thing, cause honestly for me - one cave just looked like the next. The only difference was the big house that the communist revolutionary leaders built for themselves in front of their caves after the war.

A few words about Xam Nua - it is not pretty, and their is no chocolate in the whole town! I know, I searched. So in my quest for chocolate I decided to book it out of there the next morning and head to the border town of Na Meo. Rather then describe the transport for the 4 hour ride to this border town, let me show you a picture:

Comfy, eh?

Well, as I found out after such a luxurious ride (this time there were just boxes of Beer Lao stacked in the pick up, not rice - it was torturous!) that there is nothin' in the border town except the border. As I was probably the only foreigner they would have crossing at that border that week the Vietnam Border guard took over a minute to accurately place the Visa stamp. No joke! But I must admit it is the straightest and best darn looking stamp job in my entire passport!

What about the town on the Vietnam side, Nam Xoi, you ask? As soon as you cross the border there is 1 dude on a motor bike who tells you he can take you to the next town on his bike so that you can catch a bus to Hanoi. Yeah - like I was going to do that. Ha! Instead I decided to walk through the town to find a bus or some other information. After the 2 min walk through town this is what I discovered is in Nam Xoi: Nothing. No buses, no taxi, no guest house. Nothin' honey. The motor bike was the only option, and their was no haggling on price. Maybe someone smoother than me could have bargained on the outrageous amount that he wanted, but I saw no way out of it. So off I was on a 54 km ride on the back of a motor bike.

Just for the record, the roads in that area of Vietnam are not any better then Laos. The potholes 2 feet deep, and occasionally running the span of the road exist in Vietnam too! However, the ride was beautiful and most enjoyable, and about 100 times better then a pickup truck. We also made great time, but I later realized this was because the driver was really craving some drugs - which he promptly took as soon as we got into town.

So the name of this town that I ended up in was Quam Son. I was not even sure if their was a bus their, and was just relying on the good faith of my druggie driver. But he did not let me down, and their WAS a bus there. At that bus driver was more then happy to rip me off over 400% in charging me a ticket to Hanoi. Again, I tried to bargain... but the driver just started to take off when ever I did. On the up side... my VIP price got me the passenger seat next to the driver, and a banana and an orange. Real first class like.

By 10pm, 1 pick-up, 1 motor bike, 2 buses, and 1 taxi later I finally got to Hanoi!